I guess I’m going through a blue period.  Who do I think I am, right?

I started this painting Saturday night and it’s about two hours in.  I know I’ve said this before but I want to keep this one rough.  I don’t just mean unpolished, I mean I’m going to live with the mistakes.  I keep meaning to do this but I don’t. I spent more time on the painting of Tom then I’d meant to.  I was supposed to just hash it out, but I can’t help myself.   I finished his right eye only to realize it wasn’t quite placed correctly and painted over it completely…things like that.

But lets be honest.  This is about more than art.  I want to be unpolished, to revel in it.   Dare I say this on Vida Viva? I am growing tired of certain aspects of Latin culture.  And truly, I believe it’s because I’m in Caracas.  I would never speak this way about my beloved Bogotá.  But this is the land of beauty queens, and, well, we have different concepts of beauty.

However…I was reminded today of Cezanne.  When he started out his career, he went to Paris, and did his best to fit in with the art crowd. He was from a rural part of France and they just didn’t get him at all.  Finally he realized he couldn’t try to be someone he wasn’t and said screw ’em and went back to the country, where he did kick ass work for the rest of his life.  Fine, so maybe that’s the Cliff Notes version of his life, but it’s true.

I always remember this when I realize an external pressure is causing me to drift away from who I really am.  Or at 25 perhaps I should say, who I really want to be.